Dream Garage: Hulkster Edition!!!

"Wobbles the Mind" (wobblesthemind) 03/18/2016 at 22:35 • Filed to: Dream Garage

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I just got paid, brother! Everyone saw what it’s like when Hulkamania hits the home, and now I just pulled in 115 million of those sweet, sweet All-American greenbacks, man! That’s right, dude!! I’m talking the stuff the Macho Man wishes he got selling stale jerky sticks made from chinese cat meat wrapped in The New Yorker !

Now the Hulkster needs your help, brother! I need suggestions for some serious muscle...to move around...this SERIOUS MUSCLE!!! My only, ONLY criteria are what follows:

They must be in red and/or yellow

They better be American, or damn well better be from a place where they speak American!

And I have to be able to fit these PYTHONS inside without tearing it in half like a new tanktop or wet phonebook!!

Now whatcha-gonna-do, when Hollywood Hulk Hogan goes ruuuunnin’ wild, in a brand new car, choosen....by YOUUUU?!!!!

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Wobbles the Mind 03/18/2016 at 22:34

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i guess i’ll just become Guy Fieri

Flynorcal: pilot, offshore sailor, car racer and panty thief > Wobbles the Mind 03/18/2016 at 22:42

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If you’ve never seen the movie “The Wrestler” it’s a hell of a depressing movie about a (shocker) pro wrestler and his declining health and increasing desperation as he runs out of money and simply can’t earn any more.

I watched it 2-3 years ago. Late night TV. Had no idea how sad it was.

One of the commercials during the movie was Hulk Hogan hawking furniture for Rent-a-Center — during the depressing movie about a washed up has-been. Ouch! Fucking depressing.

Except in real life Hulk showed back up with a metal folding chair after a nine count...

DoYouEvenShift > Wobbles the Mind 03/18/2016 at 22:45

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I hope he buys a bunch of these to piss of Gawker even more.

Expo2k > Wobbles the Mind 03/18/2016 at 22:47

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Angry Joe Frasso is here with you, brother!

Deal Killer - Powered by Focus > Wobbles the Mind 03/18/2016 at 22:48

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Um, Mr. Hogan, Sir? If you please, would you be satisfied with this very fast Toyota Supra? I heard it is one of the Hogan’s favorite cars.

If you are, would you maybe be able to spare Jalopnik, and by extension, the good people on Oppo, from your truly righteous wrath? We’d be ever so grateful. Thank you very, very much.

Sam > Deal Killer - Powered by Focus 03/18/2016 at 22:59

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Oh man. Hulk shouldn’t buy cars, he should buy Jalopnik.

not for canada - australian in disguise > Wobbles the Mind 03/18/2016 at 23:05

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Easy peasy.

C7 Z06

Lingenfelter Suburban

And a WS6 Firebird, because why not.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Deal Killer - Powered by Focus 03/18/2016 at 23:11

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isn’t that the car Nick Hogan killed his friend in.

Tapas > Wobbles the Mind 03/19/2016 at 02:28

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I heard his son was competing in formula D a long time ago. When he had a reality show about his family lol

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > Wobbles the Mind 03/19/2016 at 02:57

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Richtofen, Baron von Pickup > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 03/19/2016 at 12:39

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Whatever matches his hair.

We all know the truth, though: Guy Fieri is also Violent J.

Amoore100 > Wobbles the Mind 04/08/2016 at 01:16

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English is widespread in Sweden. Not sure if it’s necessarily American, but at least we can understand them enough to get some 250+ hp AWD wagons big enough to haul the Hulkster around.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

If Swede wagon won’t do, may I interest you in this?

It’s red. Very very dark red.